[Travel] This is Africa (T.I.A)

Bus trips in Africa are almost always quite uncomfortable although rarely boring. Sometimes they are even a little terrifying – The driver at the hands of an ageing vehicle of questionable maintenance status, driving as if he were at the hands of a sleek V8 racing car. Above the driver on the windscreen are often hand-painted slogans such as ‘Relax, God is in Control’ or ‘Mungu Atubariki’ (God Bless Us).

You can be subjected to discomfort in a variety of ways. For example, the bus trip between Malawi and Zambia, trapped in the window seat next to an African lady of ‘traditional build’. As well as struggling to breathe, you find yourself sweating profusely due to direct exposure to sunlight coming through the window. Adding to the torture, a music DVD plays on repetition – the same songs and video clips again, and again, and again…

And then, just when you think you have experienced it all…

You settle in for the 7 hour bus trip from Lusaka to Livingstone, very comfortable, a brand new coach, spotless, it even has air conditioning. What luxury. The bus departs and you are welcomed on board by a guy with a microphone “Thank you for travelling with us today, let us pray to God for a safe trip, amen, hallelujah”.. It doesn’t stop there- as well as being the conductor the guy is evidently also a pastor. After a simple prayer he launches into a full on sermon, the speakers reverberating loudly as he adopts an increasingly evangelical preaching style.

Like myself, it seems that God is also not deaf, and so thankfully due to some divine intervention halfway through the sermon, the microphone falters and goes silent. The preacher doesn’t seem particularly discouraged however, and goes on screaming in a voice that cuts like a chainsaw.

It lasts for about an hour. The pastor then winds down and gradually reverts back to bus conductor mode.

T.I.A.